OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Pooping to opera.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
