East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
