I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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