Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
