Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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