I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
