Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
