Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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