my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
