i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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