From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
