3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
