Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
