will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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