Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My liver is preforming stress tests.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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