Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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