Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
