He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
