i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
