Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
