is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
