then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
