you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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