Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
