can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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