Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
splinters make it hard to masturbate
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
