There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
false alarm, still single
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
