you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize