problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize