Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
