watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
