just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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