Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
