I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
