I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
