I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
