jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
