I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
