Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
