I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
