Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
