we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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