"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
