I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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