We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
