just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
