I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize