Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
