Everything about him screamed your future.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
