I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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