no. you can't hotbox the world.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
