How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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