I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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