just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
