Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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