White coat. Heels.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
